I chose to focus on anger and hostility. Those of you who know me know that I wouldn’t be considered to be an angry person and like most of us, I would never label myself as one either.
But just like every human, I have experienced hurt and disappointment throughout my life. We get let down countless times and we end up internalizing just about all of it.
Even though most of us wouldn’t consider ourselves to be an angry person, that doesn’t mean we don’t hold onto anger and hostile emotions within us.
When something in our life causes us pain and disappointment we usually tend to cover it up by either ignoring that it hurts as much as it does, or by complaining and getting irritated every time the subject matter arises.
Instead of releasing it we push it down, causing it to festering within us.
Typically we wouldn’t have any idea we’ve done this. We just keep going with our lives and at some point, usually with stress as the trigger, it explodes!
We take it out on our spouse or best friend, mother or father, sometimes even on whoever just happens to be there. Most of the time we freak on something that is so simple and is not even relevant to what we are truly upset by.
We justify our furry in so many ways, not even realizing we are angry and upset at the painful emotions we bottled up for such a long period of time. This happens again and again during our lives and we don’t even take a moment to confront our emotions to figure them out. Always thinking it is because of an outward reason when really it is coming from within us.
We consciously decide we are validly upset for whatever reason strikes us in the moment of emotional exasperation. We don’t even realize it’s actually because of deep seeded pain that spins into anger after suppressing it for long enough.
Holding anger and hostility inside you, even if you are not aware of it, can cause physical illnesses. Our deeper part of us, the subconscious, tries it’s absolute best to grab our attention so we can become aware of the pain we hold onto; recognize it, release it, and then finally heal from it.
Our inner essence does everything it can to make our conscious, surface leveled mind aware of all the pain we harbor. Sadly no matter how hard it tries, we rarely slow down enough to realize when we need stop and listen in order to reflect and hear our guidance.
Like most people, I wouldn’t consider myself to be angry or hold onto any anger inside me, but I wanted to do an experiment. How much would the anger and hostility affirmation effect me if I am not an angry person?
What I Discovered…
For about a week and a half after starting my controlling anger and hostility affirmation, I was being bombarded by unwelcome thoughts of people of my past. And let me tell you, I did NOT want to be thinking about them.
Every time these people would unwillingly pop into my thoughts I would push them away and become very annoyed that they were entering my mind. It was happening all day long and I couldn’t stop it. It got to the point where they even started appearing in my dreams, and these were not pleasant dreams!
You would think because I was doing the anger and hostility affirmations I would put two and two together, but it wasn’t until I went for a lone car ride when I realized the connection.
These irritating thoughts of people who have disappointed and crushed me over the years were still causing me pain. I was finally at a point that I could no longer tolerate.
I said out loud into my empty car, “WHY! STOP IT! Why can’t I stop these thoughts!? Why am I having these dreams!!?” Then I instantly knew what to do. I needed to take a moment to figure it out. I said to myself, “Okay, lets figure this out. WHY?”
It took being alone in a car with nothing to do except face my thoughts for me to have that AH-HA! moment. I felt so silly for not putting it together in the first place but that goes to show how much we push aside our thoughts and feelings because we don’t want to face them.
Being so emotionally attached to something can sometimes alter our vision. We don’t see what’s right in front of us until we are forced to look at the pieces as a whole to see the big picture.
I finally realized and accepted that I must have been angry with these people and situations in my life. The anger/hostility affirmation was purging these thoughts to the surface. My subconscious wanted me to confront them so I could release and forgive, allowing me to finally let go and move forward.
After recognizing that a part of me was still angry at those people, I remember that every person goes through their own experiences that shapes them to who they are today.
There is really no point in holding angry towards somebody because if you were born as that person and went through each moment and experience as that person did, then you would act EXACTLY the same as that person does.
We have all heard the saying, “walk in somebody else’s shoes,” but have you ever thought about it that deeply?
If you were born as that person and went through every single moment, every single experience JUST as they did, you would do, think, and act exactly as they do.
Once you let that sink in, you see the only person anger is hurting is you.
I decided to look at each person who has done me wrong individually in my minds-eye and say, “I still love you for your good qualities, and I forgive you for your bad.” I went down the line and told each person this, as if I were with them at that moment, “I love your good, and I forgive your bad.”
Then I was simply able to let it go, allowing that to be the end of harboring that negativity.
I released them and it felt amazing! I could literally feel the weight of those kept up emotions leave, realizing the weight I had been carrying. I felt lighter and those who know me noticed it too.
~.*~.*~*.~Part Two~.*~*.~*.~
In addition to working on releasing any built up feelings, I wanted to work on becoming a “morning person.”
I have always had a super hard time waking up early in the morning. I even remember from grade school being grumpy, hating the fact that my mother was forcing me to go to school in the morning.
It’s WAY to early for a human being to be awake, I would think. So you could say I have always dreaded the sound of the alarm clock in the morning.
As I got older my dislike of waking up early in the morning turned into a habit. It was hard for me to be fully awake before 10am. I needed my sleep and I tried any to justify it in my own head any way I could.
Most of the time I would notice how cozy I was in bed and if the dogs were snuggling too? Forget about it, I was falling back to sleep in no time! Every time I would try to be a “morning person” I would succeed for a very short time and then the habit right was back to its regular routine.
So naturally I thought it would be awesome if I could finally kick this habit for good! I decided to make my own suggestion about being a morning person but I was not sure how it would work out.
I had never wrote a suggestion or an affirmation before so I turned to my book, Self Hypnosis and other mind expanding techniques by Charles Tebbetts, for help.
I successfully wrote a suggestion which I call “Morning Person.” In my Morning Person suggestion I encourage the idea that every night when I go to bed, I take three deep breaths that always relax me completely, and I get a great night’s sleep, knowing that because I have such a restful sleep, I will wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, excited and ready for my day first thing in the early morning!
While recording my self hypnosis tapes I did not take into account that when I said first thing in the morning, I was telling my subconscious that I meant first thing! I woke up the next morning with my eyes wide awake, ready to go at six am! I wanted to wake up early, but not that early!
I should have gotten up, but I was cuddly with my man and the dogs so I decided to go back to sleep.
The next morning I woke up at six am! Once again I did the same thing and then repeated my bad habit.
What I realized was that I can wake up feeling fine but can quickly decide to ignore my energy and snuggle back in, allowing the temptation of the warm covers get me.
I went about my day and did my self hypnosis but this time I did something different.
I pictured “first thing in the early morning” as seven am and then mentally pictured the clock at 7:00am and an amazing thing happened. The next morning I woke up at seven am with no alarm clocks set!
Now all I am working on is continuing to get up out of bed when I first wake up, not giving myself the chance to lay there any longer then a few seconds until this habit is set in stone. I aim to continue this healthy habit and choose to feel motivated and inspired as soon as I get out of bed!
